The Blog About Nothing: How to Increase Your Rankings with Seinfeld

Seinfeld Logo
Who would have thought America’s favorite sitcom, Seinfeld, was created on the basic premises of search engine marketing (SEM)? Okay so maybe it wasn’t; but let’s have some fun and see how the two stack up. By referencing Seinfeld, we can easily recall several facets of search engine marketing that help increase your site’s overall presence on the web. Let’s meet the cast shall we:

George Costanza

“Hi, my name is George; I’m unemployed, and I live with my parents.”

George from Seinfeld






Arguably the funniest character on the show is George Costanza. He spends more time figuring out a way to avoid work than actually doing it! In almost every episode, two things are always discussed. One, George is cheap, and two, he’s bald. How can these two qualities help your efforts in ranking higher in the search engines? First, your site cannot be bald; rather, it should be filled with keyword-rich copy. Many professionals recommend writing strong relative content instead of maintaining a specific keyword density in an attempt to please Google. Be sure to always keep your site’s visitors in mind first while creating new copy.

Next up, Google recommends building high quality links to your site instead of going the “cheap” route and participating in link buying. One of Google’s recommendations is to “get involved in the community around your topic.” For example, if you own a bakery website, contribute to different blogs about baking desserts, delicious pie recipes, and so on. In doing so, you will positively increase your reputation and eventually drive people to your site. Keep in mind that results may take time, but it will be well worth it!


“Boy, these pretzels are makin’ me thirsty!”

Kramer from Seinfeld






Seinfeld wouldn’t have been the show it was without Jerry’s unemployed, eccentric, always entertaining neighbor. Whether it be accidently burning down the cabin, committing mail fraud, or urinating in the parking garage, trouble always seems to find “Cosmo” Kramer. By excusing his many, many faults, viewers have fallen in love with the man who entered almost every episode by sliding through Jerry’s door.

Having a great entrance is pivotal not only in the show, but also for your website! If you truly want to get the most out of your pay-per-click advertising campaign, a custom landing page is crucial. Not only will this help improve your quality score, but you could potentially increase your return on investment by grabbing the attention of your visitors during the most critical time, namely the few seconds it takes them to decide whether your webpage is the solution to their search query. Make sure the page has a clean design with a compelling, and very obvious, call to action above the fold visitors are sure not to miss.



Elaine from Seinfeld






What would you say is the most memorable Elaine Benes moment in the 9 seasons Seinfeld aired? Chances are that her dancing skills at the office Christmas party come to mind. The way she danced caught the eye of everyone in the office. So what is one way you can catch search engine and user attention for keywords in which you are trying to rank higher? Proper keyword use in the title tag! Let’s say your bakery is called “Betsy’s Baked Goods”. You have a page dedicated to discussing apple pie recipes (you are trying to rank for this term) and your current title is “Baked Goods and Pies”. One helpful tip is to move the keyword to the start of the title, as this will help click through rate and rankings. The new title tag could be something like “Apple Pie Recipes | Old Fashioned Pies – Betsy’s Baked Goods”



Newman from Seinfeld






Once upon a time there lived a postal worker named Newman. Unlike the slogan, he didn’t deliver mail through “rain, sleet or even snow.” Jerry was unable to avoid Newman as he seemed to sneak up on him at the most inopportune times. Luckily, you do have control from search engines coming into different parts of your site in which they are unwelcome. On a site-wide level, simply “Disallow:” folders (directories) or pages in the robots.txt file. If configured properly, the robots.txt will restrict search engine robots from crawling the page. Keep in mind however, it does not keep the actual URL from being indexed if there are external links pointing towards it. My preferred method is to include specific instructions in the head section of the HTML document called the “Meta Robots Tag.” Some of the available commands include “NOINDEX” which prevents a particular page from being included in the index, and “NOFOLLOW” which will prevent a robot from trailing the links on a page.

Jerry Seinfeld

“I don’t wanna be a cowboy!”

Jerry Seinfeld







There are two absolute certainties in my day-to-day life. The first is that I will go to Starbucks and order a Venti Iced Coffee. The second is that when I turn on the television to watch Seinfeld, Jerry will have a new girlfriend. All of his girlfriends seem to be temporary, which leads me to my final point. If you are switching domain names or attempting to redirect a URL, be extremely cautious when employing a 302 redirect, indicating to search engines that the page is merely a temporary move. This redirect also passes 0% of the ranking power of a page. In most cases, you should use a 301 (permanent) redirect, as in this case, an estimated 95% of your link juice will be passed to the new page.

There you have it, one of the first ever comparisons of the Seinfeld characters to different aspects of SEM. This concludes the “The Blog About Nothing.”

Images by Sony Pictures

Tags: rankings, Search Engine Optimization, Seinfeld